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| Things every pre-teen should know. |
| 06.18.08 (12:48 am) [edit] |
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Your body will change; either for the better or the worst. If you're gonna masturbate, lock the door. Bullies are not as scary as you think...trust me. Do as much as you can when you're young, the older you get the harder it is to move around! Don't do drugs. Don't smoke. Don't drink...it's harder to quit then to not do it in the first place. Don't do anything stupid and have some one take a picture, it'll haunt you for the rest of your life. keep your secrets hidden, even friends will tell others. Tell your whole family you love them and spend as much time with them as you can, they won't be around forever!!!!! Wear deodorant! Take a bath everyday! you're not to cool for cartoons. You're not to cool to tell your parents you love them....they work hard for you so you can have a house or those stupid shoes on your feet. Be nice to the "nerds", they're gonna be the ones that signs your paychecks someday! Be nice to the lunch ladies, they could spit in your food! Don't loan money out. Don't marry the first girl you go out with. Don't get married all together. Don't beleive everything you hear in school. question authority. Don't buy 100% into fads, it might embarass you someday. Don't back down from something you beleive in! Don't steal your parents car. Don't shoplift. Don't make fun of someone with a handicap. do laugh at yourself! Get into a hobby. Save sex for later on in your years, it really isn't worth the trouble if you have to take care of a baby. Help out some one who needs it, you might need something later down the road. Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself or for some one else. Get an education, so you won't have to work in a factory!(like i do).
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| Truth, covered in security.... |
| 06.18.08 (12:30 am) [edit] |
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Our daily life is merely a ripple in the world. Our actions speak louder than words ever could. The dirty little skeletons in our closets are getting moldy, the stank rancid smell of dirty little secrets rotting our own minds. I have secrets, I have fears, I have doubts. What this little rant is about? I don't know. My mind secretes bits of thoughts and I have no control over it. I have secrets. Would I ever tell anyone? maybe? Secrets are kept away in the back of our minds to protect others from being hurt, ashamed, or maybe just for fun. The truth hurts. Lies just makes the truth opaque and hazy. I wonder if anyone reads these blogs and gets anything from them? Do I care? yes. Do I wonder? Yes! My life reads like a book that never gets any better. My pages are falling apart, without a twist and without any new plots. Deja vu, french for "boring". hehe! When I was a child I was ashamed that I was a disappointment to my parents. Now that I'm adult, I wish I could find out if I ever was. I never want to be. I never intended to be. Now that I have a son, anything he does will be satisfying to me. I hope he chooses the right path, never is sexist, racist, homophobic, nor closed minded macho man. I will be satisfied with whatever he does. I hope he can learn from my mistakes and makes the most of his life. I never had a life. Bullies, teachers, and jocks made my life in school a living hell. I hope he never has those experiences. But then I can't protect him. It made me stronger and a better person. or at least I think it has. Cool beans!
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| Life is Strange but True (Part 2) |
| 06.17.08 (11:18 pm) [edit] |
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Continued..... Everything needs a way to exhale pressure that builds up. Everything from a boiler, to a human being. True friends are our little steam valves that we can vent to without ever hurting the one person that we're venting about. I could tell my friend anything in the world without feeling of regret, remorse, or guilt. He had very good logic and advice. The things we did and experience could easily fill up 800 pages of blogs. He is such a deep compasionate person, something that doesn't go with his personia. not many people knew him like I knew him, and I doubt many people ever will. He came off as this sexually depraved, wise ass, tough guy; but the truth of the matter is that this guy was really deep with poetry, laughter, and was intelligent beyond comprihention. His only demon he had was drugs. I never said anything before. I wish I had. I wasn't such a good friend. He wouldn't listen to me anyways. Pain pills was his releif. Then when he gotten into Meth, I didn't even know the person who I was talking to anymore. Luckily, he has gotten off of Meth. I didn't know at the time, but I knew something wasn't right. He isn't a bad person for doing drugs, so don't judge him on that. That was his releif valve, his way of coping. Just later, it seemed drugs won him over our friendship. What a shame. I still care for him enough to forgive about anything. I just wish he could do the same. I remember riding around with him as he did his drug rounds, looking and scoping for a hit. I just sat quietly not saying a word. Good people somehow find ways of coping with life that just isn't good for the body. Be it alcohol, drugs, sex, or food. We all have our sins. Jesus died for our sins, and it's human nature to have sins. I'm not a goody two shoes, far from it. I don't want a perfect friend. It just reminds us that we're not perfect ourselves. Our passion that we shared together was music. His music tastes totally shocked me a few times. He would show me the most beautiful music I have ever listened to. Then we would either rock to Sex Pistols or Nirvana, or turn on the amps and jam on our guitars. We made some really good songs together. to bad the world will never hear them. The music is still in my head, in my soul, and in my heart. Have you ever wanted......?
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| Life is Strange but True (Part 1) |
| 06.17.08 (4:01 pm) [edit] |
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Life is the only medium that can turn out like no one could ever dream of, write about, or could imagine. We only have one chance to make whatever we want it to be. We all have our little ups and downs. Usually, our ups are no where near the magnitude of our downs. Strange days indeed.
One minute we can be great friends with someone, and the next the most mortal enemies. Exit stage left, then never return.
I had such a friend. About 2 years ago, it came to adbrupt end. Why, I do not know. Such a waste of life. I had so much happen in these last fews that I could not share with him.
He was like a brother. Actually, he was more than a brother. His importance in my life was never nor could ever be justified by mere words. He was some one who I was totally relaxed with, who I could share with, and who made me laugh and feel good when I never wanted to even get out of bed.
people don't realize how much they can hurt another person. Devistation is at most the most cruel form of punishment put on this earth. Your whole world is crumbling around you without any control over it. You're powerless, and no matter how much intelligence, money, or material possesions you have; it's never gonna replace that special time you have with a friend or a relative.
Devistated at how a few years ago some one can be your best friend and then hate your whole existence in a few seconds. I could never replace that. Now that I'm older, the friends I had in the past never could grow up with me. The one friend that I had could grow and be on the same wavelength as me. A rare trait in any situation.
how the end came is a long and complex story. I'm gonna try to explain to it at my best ability. This is part 1 of many parts to come. Just cherish what you have.
This probably don't make sense to you. But it helps me with my demons to get them out of my head and to finally show the world my bottled secrets and struggles. Thanks for your time.
Part 2 will be about how we just stop being friends. Or at least he stopped being my friend. I'll always will be his friend no matter what.
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